If You’re a Man and You Think a Trans Man Isn’t, You Haven’t Done Enough Men’s Work

I am not perfect.

I lead men’s groups, but I come with all kinds of biases.

I grew up inside a white, cis-gendered, hetero, middle-class, Saturday-morning cartoons John Wayne “American” version of what is gender, and what is a man.

Gender was what’s between your legs.

Gender was …Read More

Excuses Are Like Puppies

“I can’t afford that …”
“I was thinking of going to Thailand this winter, so …”
“I promise I’ll get clear on my commitment after …”
“We’re just slammed at home right now …”
“Sorry I’m late …”
Excuses are like puppies. Totally attention getting, and not very po…Read More

Eulogy for Edward Scott Van Winkle, 4/15/1943-8/22/2019

I’m here to say a few words about my Dad. Before I do, I want to say a little bit about the way he died.
In the weeks before my Dad ended his life, I had been trying to sit down and write him a letter to say goodbye. I knew he was getting ready to die, and I wanted to let him know that I appreci…Read More