Perspectives

When You’re Scared to Quit Your Job or Your Relationship

24 Mar, 2021

Plenty of us work in careers that look great on paper and yet we feel stuck.There are too many of us trapped in dead end jobs that feel like they should be a good fit but there’s a lingering sense of emptiness and we don’t know why.

We turn up to work each day praying that some amazing opportunity will come our way naturally and save us, jerking us out of our current reality and into something better. But we don’t actually know what else we would do. The answer isn’t obvious, so we stay put.

What are you meant to do when you’re scared to quit your job, but you know you have to?

The world is begging you to radiate aliveness

The crazy thing is, when we’re not lit up and engaged in our lives, it’s the exception not the rule. The world wants us to feel vital and alive. If you simply go outside and look around at nature, the trees, the birds and feel the breeze on your skin, you will sense the vitality in the world that I’m talking about.

The world is most interested in us taking our place in this vitality. It’s literally begging us to shift into a way of being that radiates aliveness and gratitude.

The job is a symptom, not the problem

I’m going to offer you four diagnostics to question when you feel stuck in a job – or a relationship – and you can’t bring yourself to make the change. The thing is, the job is actually just a symptom of an underlying problem.

The real problem is that we are disconnected from our energetic blueprint of inspiration and mutuality. The world wants us to feel part of the interplay and interconnectedness of the universe. When we feel sunken in our lives and stuck in a job that drains all of our energy, we aren’t doing our part in the world.

A new job or relationship isn’t the answer

When we get stuck in these situations, we assume that, “if I just quit the job or the relationship then I’ll feel better”. On the opposite end, you may also be someone who thinks that, “if I just get the right job or the right relationship then I’ll feel better”. Wrong.

When we do this, we’re coming at it from the wrong side. Instead of assuming that we can solve the issue by looking at external factors, we need to listen to our inner dialogue and reflect on what’s really important.

Here are four questions to get honest with yourself.

#1 How is my sense of energy and vitality?

How is your sense of energy and vitality? Do you go for runs? Do you go for simple walks in nature? Do you appreciate what you see everyday? Do you eat right? Do you sleep right? How does your energy feel?

There are really simple things we can change to make us feel more alive. Before asking if your work or relationship is the issue, check in on your general well-being and your environment.

#2 How is my gratitude practice?

Do you show appreciation and gratitude for everything you have in your life? What are you consciously doing to shift and reverse a victimhood mentality? Rather than believing your work is a prison, or that you’re trapped in a relationship, focus on replacing this outlook with a positive one.

When was the last time you reflected on everything that you have in your life and saw it as a blessing? The very fact that you’re able to read this blog online highlights that you’re in a much better position than many people on the planet. If you’re struggling to think of anything, go back to basics such as food, water, and shelter. Have gratitude for these blessings.

#3 What level of felt personal responsibility do I have for my life?

We live in a creative universe where you’re living the script that you’ve written, and you’re writing it in every moment. You need to realize that every experience is a choice, and since you can choose it, you can also un-choose it and re-choose it.

So on a scale of 1 to 10, how much personal responsibility are you taking ownership of? This doesn’t mean you have to blame or shame yourself and your decisions. It’s about standing straight in your spine and taking ownership of how much responsibility you feel in your life right now.

#4 What is my relationship to support?

We need to understand the mutuality that reveals a sense of permeability between us and the world. One of the diagnostics that can help us discover what our level of permeability and mutuality is with the dance of life is to look at how we support others.

Do you volunteer? Do you show up for your family? Do you show up in your coworkers’ lives? Do you energize others? How it is you can show up mutually but also how are you personally getting support. Do you see a therapist or attend a men’s group, church group or even a book club?

Take control of what you can control

All of these things have nothing to do with the job or the relationship. They have everything to do with our relationship with our spiritual and logistical dials within our body.

We need to switch on our inherent capacity for plugging in to the beautiful, mutual, vitalness that life is inviting us into. Instead of hitching all of our satisfaction or happiness to one thing, how do we set ourselves up so that opportunities want to find us?

We have to be found by the life that we want. In order to be found by the life that we want we have to look around and realize the areas we’re blowing it in. It is ultimately our responsibility to construct, maintain, manage, build, and embody a life that is ready to say yes to the opportunity, the adventure, and the synchronicity.

The job and the relationship are going to stay stuck as long as we succumb to a victim mentality. When we begin to take responsibility for every aspect of our vitality – in our consciousness and in our life – only then is life going to recognize that we can take responsibility and live the life we want to live.