Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Mantrum Survival Guide

05 Mar, 2020

Abstract: In this long article, I hope to illustrate how men emotionally collapse (part 1), explain what is happening for a man when this occurs, including the larger historical + cultural context (part 2), examine the external impact of a man’s collapse on the world around him (part 3), reveal 3…Read More

Boyhood Without Rites of Passage

30 Jan, 2020

“If you don’t initiate the young, they will burn down the village to feel the heat.”
-African Proverb
It was a time of intense contrast.

How to make sense of it all? It was almost like the world was getting bigger and clearer – while at the same time getting harder to understand, with m…Read More

If You’re a Man and You Think a Trans Man Isn’t, You Haven’t Done Enough Men’s Work

25 Oct, 2019

I am not perfect.

I lead men’s groups, but I come with all kinds of biases.

I grew up inside a white, cis-gendered, hetero, middle-class, Saturday-morning cartoons John Wayne “American” version of what is gender, and what is a man.

Gender was what’s between your legs.

Gender was …Read More

Eulogy for Edward Scott Van Winkle, 4/15/1943-8/22/2019

02 Oct, 2019

I’m here to say a few words about my Dad. Before I do, I want to say a little bit about the way he died.
In the weeks before my Dad ended his life, I had been trying to sit down and write him a letter to say goodbye. I knew he was getting ready to die, and I wanted to let him know that I appreci…Read More

Men’s Work Doesn’t Work

13 Aug, 2019

When a man first encounters “men’s” work – does an MKP retreat, reads a David Deida book – there’s a simultaneous tendency to bring more intensity to relating with women. As if the book and the talk and the seminar unleash a latent capacity in him and he feels more powerful, more potent, mor…Read More