Category Archives: Uncategorized

If You’re a Man and You Think a Trans Man Isn’t, You Haven’t Done Enough Men’s Work

25 Oct, 2019

I am not perfect.

I lead men’s groups, but I come with all kinds of biases.

I grew up inside a white, cis-gendered, hetero, middle-class, Saturday-morning cartoons John Wayne “American” version of what is gender, and what is a man.

Gender was what’s between your legs.

Gender was …Read More

Eulogy for Edward Scott Van Winkle, 4/15/1943-8/22/2019

02 Oct, 2019

I’m here to say a few words about my Dad. Before I do, I want to say a little bit about the way he died.
In the weeks before my Dad ended his life, I had been trying to sit down and write him a letter to say goodbye. I knew he was getting ready to die, and I wanted to let him know that I appreci…Read More

Men’s Work Doesn’t Work

13 Aug, 2019

When a man first encounters “men’s” work – does an MKP retreat, reads a David Deida book – there’s a simultaneous tendency to bring more intensity to relating with women. As if the book and the talk and the seminar unleash a latent capacity in him and he feels more powerful, more potent, mor…Read More