I really feel the wind at my back... I feel safe in myself even when I feel unsafe in my surroundings. I feel as though I am perceiving things more purely- more as they are, not as I believe them to be. I feel more psychologically flexible... More like the man that I wanted to be... I feel connected - to my ancestors, to my heart, to the Mystery, to my goals and vision for my life in this world. I feel even less able to compromise my integrity for the easy way out. I want to be respected by my children, and their children. I love my father. It's game time.— Alex Antonucci
New, On-going Men’s Group
It’s natural for men – of all walks of life, all gender expressions, all sexual preferences – to gather, shoot the shit and just be guys. But often, as men, we long for something deeper. We long for a place to bring our stuff – that isn’t our intimate partner. We need a place to rage and bitch and even cry – to express things that aren’t going away, that have no right to go away – and be witnessed doing it. We also know – if we’re really being honest – that without brothers to hold us to our highest potential, it’s a lot harder to go after what we say we really want but are spinning our wheels with stories about why it’s not happening. We need each other, and we know it deep down.
Why do men love to gather?
- We love the opportunity to relax and be ourselves
- We relish the chance to say what we really feel without having to censor ourselves
- We jump at the chance to support one another and be supported
- We love the feeling of tribe, the feeling of a group of guys that has our back
- We know we need to challenge ourselves, but left to our own devices we often don’t
- We want a way to connect with each other that goes deeper than having a few beers or watching a football game
And yet, there aren’t nearly as many men’s groups out there as there probably should be, as men would like. The experience of most men is the 9-5, solo game. Or, if they have a family, the 9-5 family game. Guy time on the weekends if we’re lucky. We don’t prioritize men’s time. But why? What stops us? What prevents men getting together and going deep?
Why don’t more men’s groups exist?
- Scheduling challenges – Gathering men together is hard, we’re busy and we don’t prioritize it
- Figuring out how to share and distribute leadership is tricky – everyone wants to lead and no one wants to lead
- Agreeing on vision – Different guys have different ideas of what a men’s group should be
- What should happen in a men’s group? Guys don’t know what to do once they do gather
- Conflict + Shadow – No one ever taught men how to get along, using our differences to catapult our growth and closeness. Trusting other men with our deepest shadows is challenging, bitter, advanced work
- The truth is, a lot of guys, if they’re being honest, would rather stay alone – and in control – than step into a men’s group, be vulnerable and open up to challenge
- Men – when alone, by and large – compete, conceal, conspire, condem and contract – we get stuck, and we fight for our right to stay stuck
I have heard so many men say “I want to be in a men’s group.” And then, crickets. Months go by. Years go by. Still no men’s group. Often, if they do manage to get one started, it’s starts small, maybe 3 or 4 guys. Maybe it fizzles after a while. Maybe it doesn’t. But the truth is it can take 12-24 months from seed to flower for a men’s group to actually get rolling, based on my own anecdotal evidence.
What men need is a road map for doing men’s group RIGHT. And the other truth is, there is no book or manual for that – it is specific to every group. What there is, however, is a process for building a men’s group that has the best chance of succeeding.
What happens in the Men’s Group Igniter? Over 5 weeks, you will:
- Develop a shared group mission that inspires each member … Every man is a “hell yes” to what the group is up to
- Establish a repeatable meeting format that takes you deep, makes space for every man, and fosters brotherhood
- Give each man weekly opportunities to step up and lead
- Learn specific practices for working the difficult stuff: conflict, shadow, challenging emotions (rage, grief, frustration), embodiment, council and mirroring
- Create a culture of “standing in” where you’re committed to supporting – and challenging – each man to go after the best he can envision for himself
- Feel the true power and support of a tribe of brothers that have your back
- Be supported after the 5 weeks with mentorship to help meet group challenges as they arise
NEW MEN’S GROUPS STARTING MID-NOVEMBER
Free Info Night: Seattle (links)
Date, Time, Location, Address
Free Info Night: Tacoma (links)
Date, Time, Location, Address
Free Info Night: Portland (links)
Date, Time, Location, Address
✅ Meet other brothers interested in deep work
✅ Engage in powerful men’s practice – leave feeling deeper, stronger and more connected
✅ Learn some quick, powerful practices for clarifying your purpose and vision
✅ Gain inspiration and support to engage your week in a more embodied, meaningful and intentional way
Each group is co-led by two experienced facilitators of embodied men’s work.
Pieter Van Winkle is a soul-centric facilitator, men’s leader, farmer and ceramist. He is devoted to connecting men to their bodies, their souls and their community-engaged passion through peer-led, embodied men’s groups. In private practice, Pieter uses gestalt, somatic awareness and mindfulness practice to support individuals and couples towards greater freedom and fulfillment. He lives on a homestead farm + retreat at the foothills of the lush and mysterious West Elk mountains of Colorado with his rescue pup, Gia.
Mark Timken graduated from Pacifica Graduate Institute with a Masters in Counseling and an emphasis in depth psychology. Mark has worked in community mental health and is currently in private practice as a nature-based psychotherapist, dedicated to cultivating wholeness, self-healing, nervous system regulation, cultural change, the unconscious, and ecopsychology. Mark completed the Somatic Experiencing Training in 2015. He is a founding member and stakeholder of the Vashon Wilderness Program and now supports the organization as a program elder, helping kids connect to nature, community, and self.